On Top of the World

"There will be days I don't know if I can do a marathon. There will be a lifetime knowing that I have."

 Yesterday was one of the most thrilling days of my life. The sights, the sounds, the experience was something I'll never forget. It's actually kind of hard to even write down in words. I was SO nervous the morning of the marathon but I said to myself that I just needed to enjoy it, put my absolute all into it and thought, "You will only have your first marathon experience once...conquer it." Here is a little timeline of a day I won't ever forget. 

7:30am: Chris drives me to CLLC where I ride with my "teammates" to Hopkinton. I have to sit in the backseat while the boys talk about how they hope to run PR's of 3:30. I feel like I'm going to throw up. I'm aiming it at them if I do.

8:30am: Arrive at Hopkinton, use the porta potty...twice. I have no shame.

9:30am: Sit with all the runners in the Runner's Villiage. Feel the adrenaline start to rush through my body. I'm here with 27,000 other people who are feeling what I'm feeling. 

10:00am: Use the porta potty again. Put on my race number and chip. Take a picture with my coworker, John. We look at each other, give a high five and both agree "This is awesome!!"

10:30am: Start pushing to the start line. People are already cheering for us. I say to myself, "Pace yourself, Tricia. You have 26.2 miles to run."

10:45am: Cross the start line. This is it. I think of every positive thought I've had, email I've gotten, pep talk I've heard and put them all in my fanny pack. :)

11:00am: Trip over a bag giving a 5 year old a high five, recover, run into the forest and pee one last time. Sorry to the guy I mooned. Sorry to my running shoes for peeing on you.

11:30am: First 3 miles flew by. Finally getting into a groove. Having so many people around me, trying to pass me, seemingly trying to whiz by made me a bit anxious. But I reminded myself the only person I was racing was myself.

12:00pm: Get to the 10K mark. See my parents and Chris cheering for me. Feel really good but still nervous. I'm mentally telling myself that I can do this. From the 10K mark to about the 11 mile mark I pass 3 rock bands playing for the runners, get flashed by a man on the top of his roof, see a man holding a "Marry me Natalie?!" sign up (the end would have been a better spot buddy), see a Native American drumming band, give approximately 20 kids high fives and eat my first goo. Natick, I've decided, is the least "exciting" of all the points in this race. It is there that I am reminded that 90% of this is mental.

1:00pm: I pass through Wellesley and get to experience the Wellesley girls screaming for the runners. I feel energized, I feel good. I drink my 2nd Gatorade. At about mile 14, I see Chris, my parents, Andy, Sarah and Luai. They hand me orange slices, my mom cheers louder then I've ever heard her, I give my dad a kiss. I feel proud. I'm halfway there. From the 14 mile mark to the 18 mile mark, I see a couple who has run 38 marathons together, I see a mom running for her son who died from cancer, I see a man with cerebral palsy in a wheelchair pushing himself with one foot and I run next to a man who is blind. I read the back of someones shirt that says "The pain of today will be go away but you will remember this moment forever." 

2:00: I get to the the Newton Fire House and I know that the next 2 miles are hills. Heartbreak Hills. I say to myself, "Do not stop, keep going." I ran up most of the hill in baby steps. I wanted to keep running so I didn't cramp up but didn't want to kill my legs. I was hurting but I still felt good. I felt even better when I looked up and saw my friend Kara screaming my name, taking pictures and patting my back.  Her excitement for me made the next few steps a lot easier. So did Eminem. Yes, Eminem. Thank God for the song "Lose Yourself." 

You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo

Yeah, yo, Eminem's song motivated me to own the moment. I climbed the last mile of the hill and saw BC in the distance. I also saw a man poop his pants and look at me and say, "shit happens" and keep going. I saw a woman running with her 80 year old father and I saw a man who was really struggling to keep going talk himself up the hill by chanting, over and over again, "Being a champion takes work, being a champion takes work." Little did he know, he was already a champion for trying.

2:15pm: As I got to the top of Heartbreak Hill, I looked to BC and heard the biggest yells yet. People were screaming at the runners, giving us high fives and were slightly out of control. It could have been the booze but whatever it was, it was contagious. I got this surge of energy and said to myself. "You are doing this, you are going to finish a marathon." I ran past BC, I ran past the Bonner family and I turned the corner on Beacon Street. I was on the home stretch.

2:45pm: I felt myself speeding up. I felt my body remind me that I had trained hard for this and it could handle the last 2-3 miles. I ran by Beth, CJ, Amy, Katie and John, yet another group of friends who were there to cheer me on. I almost gave CJ a chest bump but decided a high five was a safer bet. I kept going. People were hitting walls. I saw a woman limping with what looked like a really bad calf injury, I saw a young man running with his arm around his friend who was crying. I saw an older man trying to stretch out his seized up legs. I saw so many people injured who kept going and going. The crowds carried them. At this moment, I was reminded of the testament of willpower. I was also reminded of what it feels like to be part of the human race, the good part, of people helping people when they need it the most. Here were people who did not know those who were struggling and yet they did their best to raise them up, just because. Unbelievable. 

3:00pm: I see the Citgo sign! I see Fenway! I feel another rush of energy and I look at my watch and say, "I might be able to make this under 5 hours (my goal)." I start running a little faster. I feel a slight cramp in my left rib. As soon as I start to slow down again, I see the many faces of some of my best friends...Kate, Vanessa, Courtney, Garvey, Colleen, Barry and so many others who came out to see me accomplish this goal. Hearing them cheer for me made me feel like a rock star. I felt unstoppable. Hell, I felt GREAT. Who woulda thought?!?!

3:15: I run through Kenmore Square. I am on a mission. I go through the tunnel and come out and say outloud to myself, "You got this. You're almost there!" I turn just in time to see the Britt crowd, cheering my name. I give them my Miss America wave and continue to run. I turn onto Boylston. I look ahead and see the crowds of people cheering the runners who are going to cross the finish line. At this moment, I get extremely emotional. My whole journey through the past 4 months, 4 hours and 45 minutes is flashing before me. I am amazed at how good I feel, I am in awe of my body at this point and my heart is full of pride and joy and accomplishment. I look at the finish line banner and I run hard. 

3:34: Triumph! I cross the finish line, I relish in the moment and the medical worker looks at me and says, "You ok?" I look at her and say, "Hell yes." My feet hurt, my legs ache and I kind of want to throw up.  She gives me that cool silver "cape" and a man puts a medal around my neck. "Congratulations," he says, "You did it."  Holy crap, I did it. This is a phenomenal feeling. SUCH a phenomenal feeling. I might just do it again sometime. Maybe. After all, I think I just might be an actual runner. 

And Away We Go....

A lot of things make me happy. A sunset makes me happy. The numerous pictures of squirrels my grandmother sends me makes me happy. Sitting on the wall at Snyder Beach makes me happy. Hearing my brother's voice on the phone makes me happy. Getting flowers for no reason makes me happy. Eating chocolate birthday cake made by Sprinkles makes me happy. Taking Dunkin and Osi for walks makes me happy. Finding jeans that fit like a glove makes me happy. 

There are so many things that make me happy. But, what I've come to realize, especially in the last few years, is the one thing that makes me happiest in life is relationships-Really, great, genuine relationships. I knew training for the marathon would teach me a lot about myself and challenge me in so many different ways. And, although I know the people in my life are supportive, I couldn't ever imagine the support I would get during this past 4 months. In a sense, I thought I would be doing this for myself, alone, and not really needing the support of others. I mean, c'mon, running a bazilion miles a week isn't a group activity. But, as soon as I said I was going to run the marathon and as soon as I made my fundraising facebook page, I was in disbelief at how supportive people became and how gracious they were in lifting me up when I was down, donating to my cause and sharing words of encouragement and inspiration that I needed many, many, MANY times. 

I remember one time coming back from a really crappy run and my roommate getting me water, sitting on the couch with me and making me pasta. That might have seem like a very "little" something to her but it really meant a lot to me. Yes, she might have thought I was "bat shit crazy" to do this but she has never once doubted that I could. In fact, I don't EVER think anyone ever told me I couldn't do this. My family, my friends, my coworkers...they believed in me.

So, tomorrow, April 19th 2010, I run for many people. I run for my friend Olivia, who lost her battle to cancer this year. I run for my clients, whose resilience inspires me every day.  I run for my big brother who has been sober for one year, I run for Janet Bonner who just celebrated her 5 year anniversary in remission from breast cancer. I run for all of those who wish they could but can't. And I run for those who don't think they can but are trying anyhow.

Thank you to my mom and my dad for driving from Buffalo to Boston to see me run; you have always been by my side. Thank you Shen family for making me feel like part of the "clan" and being so supportive. Thank you to my friends who put up with my craziness and love me just the same. Thank you Shen Shuttle for being the best thing that every happened to me. Thank you to all of you who sent me inspiring quotes, emails, facebook messages, texts and cards. It seems they all came at exactly the right time, like magic. Thank you, all of you, for being there for me, for rooting me on and for making my heart so full. I WILL cross the finish line thinking of you.

#24754

I watched another documentary last night called, "The Marathon Challenge." It was about 6 people who were pretty inactive (i.e. one woman said her idea of exercise was bowling) and challenged them to train for a marathon for 6 months. There was a woman who was 70lbs overweight, a 68 year old woman, a woman who had just lost 40lbs, a woman whose mother had just died, a man who had HIV, a 50 year old man who had suffered a heart attack 3 years before and a man who used to be an athlete in college but then "let himself go." All these people formed a group and trained. It took place in Boston and the people were going to run the Boston Marathon. 

I think this was a good thing for me to watch b/c it allowed me to see how incredibly crowded and exciting it is at the start line. It reminded me not to go out too fast (those that did had to walk a lot), it reminded me to hydrate and, most importantly, it reminded me to take the experience in. It also made me aware that I might actually be kind of emotional at the end of this race. Every single person on this documentary who trained ended up finishing. Most of them finished in 5.5-6 hours. The past athlete finished in 7. However, each person that crossed the finish line showed some sort of overwhelming emotion, whether it be "giddyness," exhaustion or pride that led to tears. 

Most of you know that I cry at weddings and hallmark commercials but I'm not usually one to cry in public. However, yesterday when I walked in the Hynes Convention Center to get my number, I found my heart beating fast and my eyes welling up just a little. I've come a long ways since my training started in December. I was true to myself and to my training. I did the hard work even when I didn't want to. So, when I saw my number, I couldn't help but smile ear to ear. The guy who was working at the number's counter said, "Have you ever done Boston before?" I said, "I've never ever run a marathon before. This is my first." "Well Congratulations," he said, "It's something you'll remember forever."  

Ants in my Pants

I don't think I've ever been this nervous. It's almost slightly impossible for me to do work (hence the reason I'm writing a blog while working) and, let me tell you, the things my stomach are doing this week are noooot cute. You'd think I was running for President or something. I might have to ask the psychiatrist here for some benzos.

People who have run a marathon tell me the process is 90% mental. Of course, you also need to be physically ready but, during the last 6-10 miles, I assume a lot of it is about telling your body "you can do this, don't give up, one foot in front of the other." One of the tips I've read is to mentally talk yourself up heartbreak hill, saying things like "My feet are light, I'm floating." Floating? Needless to say, to me, this seems a lot harder then it sounds.

I've been thinking about it though, and I think my increasing sense of nervousness is coming from the fact that I know so many people are going to be watching me. I mean, if someone told me to go run 26.2 miles today and I knew there wouldn't be 25,000 other runners and a bazillion spectators, I'd be like like "No problem...boooo-ya!" I think it's the crowds that are making me nervous. The fact that I've laid this whole process out on a blog and my family is coming from my Buffalo to watch, my boyfriend, ex boyfriends, friends and friends of friends (whoever really) are all going to be staring at me in a completely and utterly vulnerable state-That is terrifying to me.

A-b-s-o-l-u-t-e-l-y terrifying.

However, after giving myself a few mild heart attacks this week already, I think I'm finally realizing that all this pressure I feel is really coming from me. Me, myself and I. No one expects me to cross that finish line running like a Kenyan. They just believe that I can and will cross the finish line...at some point during the day. ;) I didn't sign up for the marathon to impress people, to compete, to win money...I signed up because it was on my bucket list and because I wanted to challenge myself and "beat" the part of me that sometimes says "you aren't good enough." It might not be with grace or good form and, God forbid, I might even need a change of pants at the end, but I will do this. I'm trying hard to think positively and I know one thing for sure...unless I break my leg in the process, I will not give up.

So, are all my nerves gone? Yeah right! I'm not a miracle worker but at least I'm gaining a little more self awareness and a little more positive energy.

"My feet are light...I'm (sorta) floating...."

One...More...Week!

Winning has nothing to do with racing. Most days don't have races anyway. Winning is about struggle and effort and optimism, and never, ever, ever giving up.
 
-Amby Burfoot

I watched "The Spirit of the Marathon" this past weekend. It was a great documentary and very motivating for the upcoming week. Though I'm excited the event is almost here, I'm extremely nervous. Tapering has been hard for me and I hope my body remembers it can handle 20 miles and that my mind can handle the 6.2 miles I've never run. I've been having some weird dreams that I don't get to the start line on time and I'm disqualified or I get lost on the course. Those of you who know me well, know that I'm a worry wart. It's a bit ridiculous. I have to remember to tell myself to enjoy this week, this day and this experience. Do I have a goal time in mind? Not anymore.  My only goals are to take in this once-in-a-lifetime experience, stay positive and cross the finish line with my own two legs.

My dad wrote to me the other day and said he wished he had a run marathon when he was younger. Dad, I think you still could run a marathon so don't cross it off your list just yet. ;)  At the same time, him saying that to me was another reminder that I want to embrace life and do things I never thought I could do while I have the time. I never want to say when I'm 80 yrs old, "If I could do it all over again, I would have..." There are no excuses. There is no time like the present. There is only this moment.

Next up on my list, run a half-marathon with my boyfriend (his 1st!) and take a dance class. After all, life is too short not to dance. :)

Cherry Blossoms and Spandex

I love Boston in the spring time. I love the cherry blossoms, I love the sun on my face, I love seeing people walking along the Charles holding hands, I love sitting outside at a coffee shop reading the newspaper, I love taking Dunkin or Osi for a walk and I love seeing people running outside and smiling because it's not snowing anymore.

Today, I got up, did some cleaning, made myself some toast and hit the road for one last long run. I wore my "marathon outfit" which includes tight, tight, tiiiiight spandex capris (hey, no one said this would be pretty) and a neon-ish t-shirt so I could stand out a bit to some of my "fans." Today's run was a relatively meaningful run as it's my last longer one (8 miles) until I run the actual marathon. Since December 14th, I've run a long run every single Saturday morning. On December 19th, I started off running 6 miles as my long run and 3 weeks ago, I completed my last long run of 20 miles. I can't believe how fast those months went. Today, I really enjoyed my run. I took in all the sights and sounds, my legs were happy that they weren't running in the double digits, and I felt good. Am I ready to run the marathon? God, I hope so....

Here are some "stats" and "favorites" that I'll remember from this journey:

Miles run (minus marathon day): 430

Personal Best 1m: 7:52

Personal Best 5K: 25:12

Personal Best Half Marathon: 1:55:13

Favorite Number of Miles to run: 7

Number of loyal blog followers: 15

Number of dollars raised for CLLC: $3,592

Number of times I cried after a run: 3

Number of times I gave up: 0

Favorite flavor goos: double chocolate and vanilla bean

Favorite Artists to listen to for motivation on run: Whitney, Madonna, Maroon Five, Sister Hazel, anything Hip-Hop

Favorite activity to do for cross-training: Spinning

Favorite running gear and accessories: water belt, Nike ipod plus, Nike spandex 

Favorite pre-run meal: banana, peanut butter on toast

Favorite "Recovery Activity": Couch time with Vanessa or dinner with Shen Shuttle

Number of days until the Boston Marathon: 9

Feeling I'll get after I cross that finish line: To be Continued..... ;)

Reflections

I had a conversation with my boyfriend over the weekend about goals and "bettering oneself." When a person makes goals and wants to make changes in his or her life, I believe it should be because they are truly ready and invested in it. Being invested in yourself and your health is a choice. Being ready to make this choice is important.

That being said, this conversation made me think a lot of my past and the struggles I've gone through in life trying to be what other people want me to be. Often times I did things for the wrong reason, mainly to fit in. In college, I noticed this especially as I was surrounded by a lot of girls who were stick thin, stylish and didn't think twice about eating gum and a salad for lunch and dinner. Though I learned a lot of good stuff at Boston College, I also learned that there was a way a woman "needed" to be when it came to body image. A woman needed to eat very little, exercise a lot and make sure to be thin, thin, thin! Right?

I think that this distorted view of what I needed to look like and what I could or could not eat made it hard for me to really value myself and value my body. I was always feeling self conscious, I always felt like I wasn't thin enough and I exercised a lot and ate very little. That is, until I was so hungry that I ate a lot of bad stuff all at once. It was a vicious cycle, an unhealthy cycle and I never quite felt good about myself. I always looked at myself in the mirror and said, "This isn't gonna cut it, Metzger."

I'm happy to say that, over time (and believe me, it took A LOT of time), I have become a lot more content with myself. I think that, after college, I became more independent, more aware of who I wanted and needed in my life, what my goals were in my career and what really was important in life. When I became more comfortable with other parts of my life, I was more comfortable in my own skin, even if part of that skin included a gut, a booty and a pair of man-calves.

I look back at the person I was in college and I see someone who didn't know who she wanted to be. I see insecurity, I see a pushover, I see a follower and I see someone who, in some ways, let other people make choices for her. Then, I look at me today and, sure, I'm still a little insecure about certain things but I feel good about who I am and where I'm going and who I have in my life. This marathon has taught me a lot about myself. Don't get me wrong, I still have my "fat and down days" but it really has allowed me to appreciate the body I have today. It has made me feel a whole new appreciation for exercise and I'm excited to lead a healthy and active life because I enjoy it, not because I have to. It has also given me a chance to learn how to eat healthy but not feel guilty when I indulge. This marathon has made me feel the best I've felt about myself in a long, long time. Better yet, this experience will continue to push me to try new things, set and reach new goals and believe in myself. And best of all, it has helped me learn to accept myself, the good and the bad. For the first time in a long time, I can look at myself in the mirror and say, "Look at you Metzger...not bad. Not bad at all."

Inspirational Story-Take 4

Perspective. At times, I lose all sense of this. Today reminded me why I need to hold on to it.

I have been working with a young man ("V) for about 2 months now. Today I visited him in the hospital after he'd accidentally been shot and listened to him tell me the story of how he held his friend's body in his hands until he died. This happened in his apartment building. Thankfully the bullet only grazed my client and he was released soon after I visited. This young man is 17 years old. From age 14 on, he has been witness to this kind of violence in the community he lives in and he says it's almost normal to him. Instead of thinking about where he might go to college or playing basketball with his friends, this young man thinks about death. He wonders when it will happen and how it will feel. He wonders if he's every going to be able to have a 'normal life.'  He says he's always striving to "change his stars." He amazes me with his maturity and his resilience and I feel honored that I am in his life.

I think to myself, what was I doing when I was 17 years old? I was playing softball with my friends, going to parties my parents probably wouldn't approve of and wondering if I'd get that pair of GAP jeans I'd been longing for on my next birthday. I was playing with my dog, spending time with my family and, most likely, not realizing how lucky I was. I wish I could give this kind of childhood and adolescence to all my clients-this kind of care-free, loving and safe environment that I was lucky enough to have.

This is a sad story but I hope that the sadness turns to inspiration.  I hope today's story would inspire you to take a look at all that you have and be thankful. Even more so, I hope it would give you some perspective and encourage you to take what you have and to give to others.  When I asked my client where he gets his strength from he said, "I just try to keep it all in perspective. One of my favorite quotes is, "Look within yourself for value, look beyond yourself for perspective." He says he's always looking within, he tries really hard to see the beyond and that he hopes, very soon,that his stars will change. I hope they do too.

**some details changed to protect confidentiality

Tricia's 10 Tips

A bunch of you have recently told me you've been inspired to run a road race. Good for you! Whether it be a 5K, 1/2 marathon or a full marathon, I'm also gonna give you some advice. Some of you asked, some of you didn't but here are a few things I will definitely remember if I ever do this again...

1) Stretch. Before, after, even in between. You will want to sit on the couch after you run but don't. Stretch, ice, and eat something healthy. It will help you recover more quickly and will prevent injury.

2) Schedule a time for your long runs and stick to it. I ran mine every Saturday morning. If you have a schedule, put it on your refrigerator so it's there and you look at it every morning. It will be part of your day. Don't slack.

3) Get good rest. The times where I was sleep deprived I had crappy runs and I'm pretty sure I cried at the drop of the hat. (Just ask my boyfriend who thought I needed a trip to the looney bin.)

4) Hydrate. Plain and simple.

5) Use your rest days. This was hard for me because I felt like I would fall flat. Rest days are as important as run days.

6) Tell people you're training for a race. Tell a lot of people (hell, even write a blog about it). You're about 75% more likely to do something if you tell others because you'll feel bad "taking it back."

7) Train your core. You'll think it's your legs that are doing all the work but your abs and lower back will feel the pain. Core strength is crucial when running.

8) Join a running group. I still prefer to run alone, however, having the option to run with a group and have added support is a good thing.

9) Think positively and keep it all in perspective. Race day will be 90% mental.

10) Know that is a commitment. You will need discipline, you will need to sacrifice some of your social life, you will hate it at times. The feeling of accomplishment, though, will be well worth it.

I don't care how much you weigh, I don't care if you've never exercised a day in your life, I don't care if you don't even own running shoes...If you put your mind to something, you will be able to do it. Once you do this one thing you never thought you could, you will feel like a totally different person. You will say, with confidence, "I can do anything."  So go get em' kiddos. The world is your oyster. :)

Ready, Set, Enjoy

Today was the last long run of my training for the marathon! Woo-hoo! I was nervous about this run but I said to myself, "when you fall off the horse, you gotta get back on." 


It was a beautiful day for a run. Perfect weather (not too hot!) and the sun was out. I started out this run with a whole different mentality then all my other runs. I said to myself, "Forget pace, forget the bad runs, forget the pain...just ENJOY, just run." And I actually did. Well, who are we kidding. I enjoyed all of it besides mile 18-20. ;) The course was FULL of marathoners and there were tents set up all over offering drinks, food, goos, and (best of all) cheering "fans." It was almost like a mini-marathon day. I took all this excitement in and made sure to slow down when I needed to, stretch when I needed to and I didn't look at my watch once. I just listened to my body. At times it said, "yo what the hell are you doing to your IT band?!" or "Your ass is on fire, did you notice?" and on Heartbreak Hill(s) it said, "Um, I hate you" but most of the time it said "Go Tricia Go!" and "You're doing good. Keep it up." 


One year ago I couldn't run more then 5 miles.  One year ago I was drinking a beer while watching the Boston Marathon thinking, "I wanna do this one day." This year I've run 20-40 miles a week. This year I will be looking for my friends cheering for me while I actually run the Boston Marathon. I can't wait to enjoy it.


"You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment. Fools stand on their island opportunities and look toward another land. There is no other land, there is no other life but this."


-- Henry David Thoreau

Quickie

Short post today just to say a few things!
1) I got my race number today! Woohoo! I'm officially # 24754!

 2) Ruben called! For those of you who forgot, he was my guardian angel who drove me home the time I konked out on my second 20 miler. I'll be running with his group tomorrow. He said,  "We'd love you to be part of our running family." Muffin!

3) A warm and fuzzy hug to Barry Clegg who reminded me to think positively and to always eat dessert. :)

Running together

When I was in high school my parents had many rules. One of them was "play a sport or get a job-you can't sit around and do nothing." So, I chose sports. I played basketball, volleyball and softball. I was not great at any of them. I was average at all of them, enjoyed the social aspect and was pretty competitive. I never got MVP at our sports banquets. Instead, I often got "Best Sportsmanship Award." I guess they forgot about all the of the times I was fouled out of our basketball games.

Anyway, my brother also chose sports. He played basketball and baseball but also did track and cross country. He was good at everything he participated in, but he was especially good at running. He used to win track meet after track meet, break records on the cross country team and it was not unlikely he won every event he ran in. He was in the newspapers, had shelves of awards and medals and often won MVP at the sports banquets. I used to watch my brother run and think, "God, I wish I could be that good at something." He was so good at running and he did it with such ease. What was even more awesome to me was that he was so passionate about it. He loved to run. He even did it on his "days off " because he loved it. I used to love to watch him run too. I used to wish I could run with him. I never asked though. I knew I would hold him back.

For those of you who know me, you also know the story of my brother. He has had his ups and downs in life and I have often been on the sidelines for those ups and downs. When he was up, I would cheer for him. When he was down, I would cheer for him too....just like at his track meets. In the past few years,  my cheering has gone flat . At one point,  I didn't know if I had any cheer left in me for my brother.  I know, it sounds awful. It felt awful too, probably for the both of us. Thankfully, this past year has been an increasing "up" for my brother and for our family. This past Christmas, my brother and I sat down and talked honestly with each other about the past, about the ups and downs and we started new and we started fresh. I apologized for, at times, not being in the "cheer section." He apologized for not asking for help when he needed it and not always being there for me when I needed a fan in my own cheering section. For the first time, in a long time, I felt good about our relationship as brother and sister. After this talk, my brother asked me if I wanted to run with him. I said yes. That run together was one of the best running moments I've ever had. Neither one of us held each other back. We ran together.

So, I dedicate my last long (looong) training run this Saturday to my big brother who has now been in recovery for one full year (happy anniversary to you!) and who was the one who made me 'in awe' of real runners. I will always run beside you. Together.

Just call me "Turtle."

What a beautiful weekend, huh? I love sunny days.  It was a beautiful day on my long run this past Saturday. I had been resting all week (i.e. ice, rest, low impact, etc) and found myself pretty nervous to actually get back on the road and try to run a long distance after the pain I experienced last weekend and the pain I was feeling this week.

Anyway, long story short, I got through the 13 miles I had planned on. My pace was significantly slower and it didn't feel good but my only goal was to get through it without the help of a cab or Ruben. I did. Thank God.

I have one more long run left this upcoming Saturday. I plan on running the actual course and I think this will be a test on how well I'll do on the actual marathon day. My goal, right now, is to finish. I don't care about time anymore, I don't care about the details...I just wanna finish the best that I can without having to stop because of pain.

It is hard to keep things in perspective when injury happens. I felt so good about my running and my accomplishments up until now. I feel pissed at myself for not doing more to prevent injury and mad at my body for deciding to zonk out on me at this point of my training. However, I keep telling myself that I have come a long way. I have really tried my best. Last October is was a struggle to finish a half marathon (my father beat me!) and now I am running half marathon distances on a regular basis. That is something to be proud of.

I think another part of the reason this injury (hell, injuries) has gotten me so down is because I know people are going to be watching me, rooting me on, wondering where the hell I am if it's dark out and I still haven't crossed the finish line (I'm joking--I hope!) and I don't want to let people down. However, I keep telling myself that I should be proud of myself no matter what. I will be competing against the course that day, not other runners, and I know the people who love me will be proud even if I limp over the finish line 6 hours after I start. "Through perseverance the turtle reached the Ark." I will reach the Ark....eventually.

So, from here on out I will think positively, listen to my body and visualize myself completing this goal any way I can. I am lucky to have this opportunity, to be able to experience this event in Boston and, really, just to be alive. The turtle will have sunny thoughts from here on out!


Happy Spring peeps!

Life Support

Often times, in my job, I do counseling with teenagers. Usually it consists of 1:1 talk therapy and we throw some art or games in there or maybe even a walk to the local ice cream shop. It's amazing how much they open up to me and, unfortunately, often quite sad in what they disclose to me. They talk about abuse, losses in their lives or even something as 'simple' as having a teacher make them feel 'stupid' in class. A lot of them tell me about their relationship with their parents and how they don't feel loved and feel emotionally neglected. When I ask them about what they wish they could change, almost all of them include this in their list, "I wish when I got home from school, my mom or dad would ask, "How was your day?"  It seems like the simplest thing to do but so many teens don't have that in their lives; the love and support of a parent. I see some parents who were raised like this and they make it their goal not to raise their son and daughter like they were raised which is inspiring. But, too many times, I see the cycle of "bad" parenting and neglectful households continue. I think to myself, "Where would I be today if I didn't have the support of my parents?" I'd like to think I'd be resilient enough to make it on my own but I wonder if I would have. Would I be the person I am today? Would I have enough discipline and perseverance to run a marathon? Would my life be with the same?

It's stuff like this that makes me feel so grateful that I've had the parents I do. So, this is a warm and fuzzy shout out to my mom and dad. Dad, thank you for teaching me how to catch a fly ball, taking me on ATV rides along the beach, sitting in the big black inner-tube with me on Lake Erie, giving the best hugs, making me feel better during thunderstorms, telling me the importance of "lifting the bar" and taking me on college tours... thank you 100x. Mom, thank you for putting "love notes" in my lunchbox every day, making me practice my piano, watching Felicity with me, decorating christmas cookies with me every year, reading me books at night, being the loudest parent at all my sporting events, sending me to Sunday school, not allowing me to have Barbies, and being a mom before you were a friend....thank you 100x. Thank you, parents,  for always asking how my day was, for teaching me to value education, have faith, give back, treat everyone equal, be a good friend and to believe in myself. It's because you believe in me, that I believe in myself. 

Tylenol and Tennis Balls

Some of you have asked how I'm doing after my not-so-hot run on Saturday. I've done some research online and have asked some "experts" like Vicky, Ruben and others who have trained for the marathon regarding my pain/injury. I'm assuming it's something like an IT band injury or something that has to do with my sciatic nerve. Whatever it is, it looks like I'll be doing a lot of light cardio this week (yoga, biking), doing some tennis ball massage (just bought a 4 pack!), using a heat pack (first ice, then heat according to the nurse at my job) and taking some Tylenol to reduce pain. We'll see if all of this works when I go for my long run this weekend. This time, I'm bringing some phone numbers and money for a cab. Let's hope I won't need to use either! :)

Pain in the Butt

I have been watching YouTube vidoes of the Boston Marathon course (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKzYA39PSRY). So much so that I actual get motion sickness because I watch them over and over.  I also have come across the sick obsession of watching videos of people crossing marathon finish lines and then collapsing since their legs don't work anymore. What can I say? I like to feel prepared. So today, I finally, finally, finally decided to run from Chesnut Hill to Wellsely so I could experience the course and the heartbreak hills.

When I woke up, it was cold and rainy but I wanted to start off with a positive attitude. I drove to Boston College and parked my car and started off on what was planned as a 20 mile run. The first 10-12 miles were fantastic. Yes, I said fantastic. I was actually smiling as I was visualizing myself on marathon day. To add to this, there were also loads of people on the same route in Boston Marathon gear, running in groups and chatting while they ran their own 20 miles. I felt good; so much better then last week's run. And then.....

SCREEEEEEEEEEEECH. Pain.in.the.butt. Pain. Real, shooting, omg, "I'm gonna cry" pain. Right at mile 13. 

My left buttock (i hate that word) has been tender the last few weeks but this was unlike the pain I had experienced before. I stopped. I stretched, I drank water, I stretched some more, I even walked a little. I started to jog slowly but the pain was too much. If people driving by were watching me they would have thought I had a wooden leg because that's what I looked like. The pain started at my booty and then slid down to the back of my knee. Now, I pride myself on being a tough cookie but, holy shit, this was unbearable. I couldn't run, I could barely walk and the pouring, cold rain and the runners whizzing by me made it all the more worse. That, and the fact that my car was still 7 miles away and I had no cell phone and no numbers memorized to even call for help.  Now, don't make fun of me, but, I started to cry. Cry because I felt defeated, because I had felt so good to start and I felt so bad at that point and because I thought to myself, "What if this happens when I run the marathon?" 

It was at this point I was shivering from being soaking wet and crying because I still had 5 miles to limp home and because I felt like I was failing, when I heard, "Hey Miss, you ok? You look like you're in pain." I turned around and there was a friendly looking man. He told me his name was Ruben ("like the sandwich with an accent on the 'e'") and he was part of the Parkway Runners club. He had a Boston marathon jacket on and a kind face. As soon as I looked at him, I started crying and telling him I couldn't walk and where the pain was. He gave me some gatorade and pretzels and told me he'd be happy to drive me to my car. He told his runner group 'manager' that he was taking me to my car (which made me realize he was legit and I wouldn't be the next girl on the side of a milk carton) and he drove me the last 5 miles of my route. He told me he had run 14 marathons and suggested that I never run two 20 mile runs on back to back weekends because it doesn't give my body enough time to recover and then it'll be more prone to injury. He gave me lots of tips and, best of all, made me feel a lot better when I was feeling very defeated. Ruben was, literally, my angel today. He kinda saved me.

So, I know this blog is long, might make me look like a cry baby and doesn't put the positive spin on training for this marathon like I'd hoped when I started my run today. But, not every day is a good day.  If this were a boxing match (and sometimes it felt like it was), I'd say the marathon punched me out today. But, hey, all I can do is get in the ring and fight my hardest. A quote I read this week said, "Failure is not the falling down, failure is the staying down." So, no matter how many times I get punched out in this race, I will always get back up, even if I have to crawl to the Finish like this dude (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3aF0nnmdfTA)....

Club 'Run'

One of the reasons I much prefer running outside is because of the scenery and because of the people that you come across. Running along the ocean or the Charles or even across a really cute little town is way better then sweating my ass off at a musty gym running next to a girl who looks like she's a Playboy model. I also like to see other runners. It's nice to see them and makes me feel, as corny as this sounds, like we're all part of this cool little team or club.  I always look at them and wonder what their story is... Are they a "real" runner, who qualifies for marathons, runs a 4 minute mile and could have a Nike endorsement? Are they a person who runs to de-stress, whether it be to escape their crying baby at home, release some tension from a hard day at the office or partake in their own silent therapy for the day? Are they running to complete a goal, to burn calories, to fit in their "skinny jeans" again? I see all shapes and sizes running too, which I love and reminds me to be thankful for the body I have. Whoever they are and no matter why they're running, I feel connected in some sort of way to them and I think that's kinda neat. I mean, being connected is part of being human, isn't it?

So, I'd like to give a warm fuzzy shout out to the 80 year old guy I see running the Charles and doing push ups almost every Sunday I run that route, the skinny dude who wears pink spandex and a head band on his Tuesday morning runs by Prospect Hill (you actually pull that look off dude), the girl who has been on the treadmill next to me twice at Healthworks who I can tell is struggling and told me the other day she was doing the "Couch to 5K" program, keep it up.

And to all of those who think they want to be part of "Club Run," but feel like they wouldn't 'fit in,' just do it. Take the plunge. You won't regret it. :)

20

20 Miles.

Yesterday John and I ran 20 miles. If I didn't have John during that run, I am pretty positive I would have cut the run short. Today, I feel accomplished. Yesterday, I was hurting severely from about mile 15 to 20. Hurting in the sense that I thought I would pass out if I didn't get water. Hurting in the sense that I'm pretty sure I lost control of my limbs waist up and was running like a rag doll. Hurting in the sense that when I stopped running at the end of our run, I started swearing at my legs because they hurt so bad. But, I made it, I was pushed to my limits and I didn't give up. When I was able to function and drive home, I sat in a bath of ice and my fabulous roommate made me lunch.

It's a beautiful weekend in Boston. I even got a little sun kissed yesterday. Windburn, sunburn, leg burn.  Burn baby, burn.

Kiss your Life

Don't ever save anything for a special occasion.  Being alive is the special occasion.  ~Author Unknown

This morning I heard that a friend of mine from high school passed away. She and I life guarded together through our summers on Lake Erie. She had a warm heart, a kind smile and a zest for life. In her adult years, she started running lot of marathons and was always updating her facebook page about new races she had done. She really loved running. When she got diagnosed with breast cancer she wrote to me and said, "I saw you're running the marathon. I love marathons. Right now I'm running the race of my life. I hope we both come out on top." She had a great attitude and fought so hard, all the way up until her last day. She will always be remembered. She might not have "won" her battle but fought hard, beginning to end. Really, the "in between" is what counts, right?

I recently read this quote by Anne Dillard while I was looking for some inspiration as well, "Spend the afternoon.  You can't take it with you.  So often, I find myself thinking ahead and not really enjoying the "in between"or being in the moment. Even with this marathon training, I'm always saying, "what if this happens, what if that happens" instead of just enjoying the process, being thankful I have the legs to carry me through this and, as Jenny says, "Standing in awe of my body."  So today, especially in memory of Olivia, I am thankful for this very moment, thankful for people like her in this world and thankful for the little moments in my life that I sometimes take for granted.  Some of these moments I can think of recently are: new toothbrushes from shuttle, good conversations at book club, couch talk with my roommie, "I love you" emails from my dad, Ewood fajitas and cards from my clients. All of these little moments add happiness to my life. And I so appreciate them, today and every day.

Enjoy your weekend everyone. Be thankful. xo

Balancing Act

“Problems arise in that one has to find a balance between what people need from you and what you need for yourself."

This past Saturday, I had the opportunity to see a lot of friends I had not seen for quite some time. It was great to catch up with these old friends and hear about what is going on in their lives, laugh a little and have fun. It made me pretty nostalgic actually.

  It got me thinking about this balancing act called "Life." It's hard to balance. Plain and simple. I think a person that is good at balancing really knows how to take all the things that are important in his or her life and fit it all in, in a balanced way while enjoying oneself and also striving to see if one needs to add anything into this act or take anything away. It's about being healthy, physically and emotionally.

Personally, I try to balance my job, my relationships (family/friends), my boyfriend, my need to be physically active/fit and also my spirituality (i.e morals, 'giving back', improving myself, etc) into my life as best as possible. With my marathon training, I find it very difficult to fit all of these things in (even w/o marathon training actually!). Lately, especially, it has been hard to fit everything into my life. I find myself tired after long runs so sometimes my social life falls by the wayside. Because I'm "recovering," I sometimes feel like my weekend is too short. When I do get to spend time with my boyfriend or friends, sometimes I'm feeling guilty that I'm not working out or training harder and I'm not able to enjoy myself as much. When I leave my job to go to the gym, sometimes I think, "You should have stayed later, you have so much work to do" and then, because of this anxiety, I don't have a great workout.  What's a girl to do to find this balance again? Or did I never really have it to begin with?

I'm not sure what the answer is for this one. All I know is that running a marathon has been on my bucket list for a while. It's something I admire of other people and it's something that I believe will push my limits and remind my body and my self that it is possible to do anything I put my mind to. That being said, I have had to and will continue to have to sacrifice some of the things that I greatly cherish, like time with friends, being active in other ways (I will not ski this winter b/c I'm afraid I'll get injured) and the feelings of "Ok, it's not a big deal if I skip a work out"...because it kind of is. I don't want to sell myself short in this experience.

I hope that, some day, I find more balance in my life then I have right now. I think that, with balance, comes a sense of inner peace and contentment and that is something I strive for on a daily basis. It's hard. Plain and simple.

How do my 13 loyal blog readers find balance? I'd love any advice. And, on a different note, I'd like to give a big, warm, fuzzy hug to my friend Patrick who completed the Hyannis Marathon yesterday in 4 hours and 17 minutes. You are an inspiration, my friend. Congrats on all your hard work.

“Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm and harmony.”
- Thomas Merton

Blown away.

Thankfully, when I woke up this morning, it was sunny. Not warm, but sunny. However, during my run, I encountered some hurricane like winds (I swear I'm not even being dramatic). I've run in all sorts of weather since my training has begun. I've run in sunny 70 degree Florida, a legit snow storm, below freezing temps, rain, rain, some ice and some more rain and today a lot of high gusty winds. I was, of course, running into the wind during my last 10 miles so I felt like I wasn't moving at all. I have decided a windy day on April 19th will be the worst to run in. If its 90 degrees and windy, then I might just have to call it a day and jump on some cute cop's motorcycle and ride the whole way to the finish line. But, at least now, I feel prepared to run in all sorts of weather.

Anyway, enough about the weather. I had a pretty bad experience at the end of my last long run so I was hoping for the best today. Besides the hurricane (yes, I'm dramatic) I got through my 18 miles in about 2 hours and 45 minutes and didn't have much pain at all during it. Afterwards, however, was a different story. My stomach was a mess AGAIN, I seemingly lost about 4lbs of water weight and my knee (IT band perhaps?) and shin were killing me. Some pain pills (don't worry, the legal kind), h2o, and some TLC though and I'm feeling much better. I have to say though, even though running 18 miles is awesome to me and something I thought I could never do, I wonder what all this training is doing to my body both inside and out. I'm just gonna keep telling myself "We are born to run" like the author Christopher McDougall states and hope I can keep this mentality until the day of the race.

Lastly, as March approaches, here are some updates on the goals I had made back in February. Someone this week told me they were impressed that when I set my mind to do something, I always do it. These updates might sway that view just a tad. ;)

I had said I would......
1) Eat healthy 90% of the time. Hmmm....let's make that about 60% of the time, maybe 70%. Due to some "bad days" at work and some other stress, I might have gone off the chocolate wagon more times then I'd like to admit and I really did enjoy the subs VWow and I got this week. I'm gonna try harder on this one though, really.
2) I will not drink alcohol on the weekdays. I have broken this rule twice...once for a dinner party and once for a bday night out for a friend. I'd have to say, this isn't that hard though. I think it is something I will stick with after the marathon. Maybe. Maybe not.
3) I will lose 10lbs by marathon day. I've lost about 5 so I think this one is attainable. I've also gone down one pant size. Will I be able to maintain this after the marathon? Let's hope so. I plan on keeping physical fitness a key part of my life. Who wants to be my lifelong exercise buddy? I'm taking applications! :)
4) I will run more hills. I have run at least 2 hills on all of my runs. I plan to run the actual heartbreak hills at least twice in March. However, I still can't stand hills. Some people say they love them. Those people are lunatics...or actual, hard core, real runners.

So, needless to say, I have slacked on some of the above goals I had for myself. However, I'm a big fan of the quote, "if at first you fail- try, try again." I don't think I'll ever give up trying.

Now where did those cadbury mini-eggs go......

Warm Fuzzies

About a week ago I had a friend email me and tell me I was the inspiration that kept her going during her cold winter run that morning. She said, "I usually give up but then I thought of you and just wanted to say thanks." Then, today, I read a friend's blog about sports "moments" (http://cleggthis.blogspot.com/2010/02/sports.html) and, in it, he gave me a "shout out" that both inspired me and reminded me why I ever chose to run this marathon in the first place. Remember in Kindergarten when your teacher used to tell you saying unkind things were "cold pricklys" and saying kind things were "warm fuzzies?" Well, golly gee, I feel pretty warm and fuzzy right about now. So much so that I just wrote "golly gee."

Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you to Meg and Barry for those things. It's because of people like you that I keep going. Your kind words have also inspired me to do a different type of "shout out" (since all of my fundraising is done); the "Warm-n- Fuzzy Shout Out." In the cold, cold winter weather, everyone can use a little warming up!

Here's a few to start with: Warm fuzzies to the 12 people who read my blog! Woo-hoo, I'm famous!  Warm fuzzies sent out to my mom and dad who have always been there to cheer me on in the "race of life." And a shout out to everyone out there who thinks they can't do something but they try it anyway. "Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try." Go get 'em tigers!

Hugs to all of you!

Inspirational Story-Take 3

Every person has goals in life. Some are easier then others. For example, setting a goal to cook one meal a week is probably easier then quitting smoking. Training for a marathon is easier then training for an ultra marathon. No matter what goal it is though, in the end, without trying, without dedication and without the belief in yourself, a goal will be hard to accomplish.

In my job, I work with a lot of teens. As young as some of them are, they are constantly flooring me with their resilience and ability to keep going. Don't get me wrong, some of them floor me with their ability to make an excuse for everything and the amount of marijuana they smoke but I'm looking on the bright side. ;)

This is the story of Colby* (name/details changed to protect confidentiality). This week, he came in and gave me some really great news. Colby has been one of my "clients" for a while and he usually comes into the teen clinic because we are the closest thing to family he has. His mother and father are drug addicts and in jail and he really has no place to call home. He has seen more and been through more then any teenager should ever have to see in his or her young life. He didn't have a chance to experience being a child, being young, being innocent. He has, what I like to call, an "old soul" but a very good one at that. Colby has been trying hard to get his life back on track since he dropped out of high school. We signed him up for a program that would help him get his GED and a job. Every other week, he'd come in on my lunch break and we'd do a lil' GED prep and "shoot the shit" as he liked to call it. He was nervous about this test. Really nervous.

So today, Colby came in and sat down in my office chair and said, "I passed my GED tests. All subjects. The first time. All of them." He was quiet for a while and then he said, "Tricia, I guess I'm smart, huh?" I, of course, told him I always knew he was smart and that I was really proud of him. He said, "For the 1st time in a long time, maybe ever, I'm really proud of myself too." Colby is going to make something of himself. I have no doubt about this. After he left, I thought about this quote I read the other day. "The miracle isn't that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start." Colby had the courage to start and, because of this, he's one step closer to a better life and, more importantly, a greater understanding and belief in himself.

Happy Hump Day homies! I hope that, today and everyday, all of you have the courage that Colby did.

Accidents Happen

** Disclaimer: If you're eating, don't like the word "poop" or would prefer to be one of those people who thinks young ladies don't do #2, don't read this post.**

Every year I watch people run the Boston Marathon and think, "I'm going to do that one day." Year after year though, I was always a spectator, cheering people on, drinking beer on the sidelines and watching runners cross the 20 mile marker. Almost every year, as well, I would inevitably see one or two people who would look like they had sat in mud. They were disoriented, swaying while running and it was then that I realized these people had actually crapped their pants. Ew. Ew. Ew. Seriously!? Unless you're fighting to win the actual marathon, why the hell would these people allow themselves to shit their pants?!

I no longer wonder why these people poop their pants. No, no, don't worry... I didn't have an "accident" in my pants. But, holy crap (haha, pun intended), I now understand how it can happen. Yesterday, I started off on what would be a 17 mile run. I felt really good, I was hydrated, I had a good play list and I was ready to grab the bull by the horns and do this run. The 1st ten to thirteen miles were great. I matched the same improved 1/2 marathon time, I felt good, I wasn't tired, I saw running group after running group which inspired me to keep up with people who were a bit faster then me and I was enjoying the cool (but not bitter) winter weather. After about mile 14 though, it hit me. I don't know if it was the portabella mushroom pizza I had eaten the night before or my lack of bathroom activity the morning of my run, but holy smokes, I needed a toilet. I told myself I could make it the last 3 miles but, I know my body. I knew I HAD to go to the bathroom. However, my last leg of this run was by the Charles River. Shockingly, there are NO toilets on this route. I contemplated not once, not twice but THREE times squatting in a bush along the Charles and dropping a deuce. There are just cars, people, squirrels, boats...everything!...out there. I couldn't imagine doing that in public (and/or getting caught) so I sucked it up (and in) and continued on the run. I knew I would come to the mall sooner then later and I prayed to God I would make it. I was in pain. I was shivering, I felt nauseous and my stomach was punishing me. To make matters worse, at about mile 15.5, I got this shooting pain in my right ankle/shin and was now limping, trying not to cry (really, I'm usualy pretty tough) and begging for this run to be over RIGHT THIS INSTANT. I finally made it to a Finagle a Bagel (the end of my run) and ran into the coffee shop and sprinted to the bathroom. Of course, it was locked. I ran back and said (very loudly so all the patrons could hear me), "I neeeeed the key!!!!!' Has anyone ever seen the movie Dumb and Dumber when Harry uses homechick's bathroom? Yup, that was me. But at least this toilet actually flushed.

I apologize if this post has been TMI (too much information) or I have embarrassed or offended my boyfriend or my parents. But marathon training is not all happiness, giggles and repeats of Rocky's theme song. This is part of the "bad and ugly." This is reality. I hope everyone has a nice, long weekend. I'm peacing out to go make heart cupcakes and ice my shin. If anyone has some advice for an injury such as this, please share. Adios amigos!

Zzzzzombie Land

I'm tired. Like redonculously tired. Like, I almost called out of work sick today so I could use this day to sleep tired. Who does that?! I'm not sure what it is but it's gotta stop. I feel like I'm walking around like a zombie. My brain isn't working like it should be either. Yesterday I spent a good 3 minutes turning the kitchen light switch on and off hoping the more I did that, the more likely it would be to turn the dining room light on. Nope, just the wrong switch. And, when I was driving to a super bowl party last night I, instead, drove to work...on a Sunday...at 5:30pm. Today, I am staring at my computer screen a little more then I should and when I'm talking to clients, I find myself jumbling my words.  What the heck is wrong with me? A lot of people tell me training for a marathon gives them more energy then they've ever had. But, lately, I feel like I have very little energy and, what I do have, I save for the runs I know I must do to properly train for this event. I feel like it's beginning to take a toll on my level of functioning and, as a counselor, I know that certainly isn't good.

I need advice...cuz this "zombieness" has gotta stop. Otherwise, I'm afraid I'm gonna turn out like that girl in Paranormal Activity and that girl sure as hell doesn't make it to the Boston Marathon.

All you single runners, put your hands up!

That's my version of Beyonce's "single ladies" song. I may not be single, but I usually am in the running world. Today proved to me why it's way better to run with someone rather then by yourself when training for a marathon. Training for a marathon is like having a second job. You have a schedule, you have to "show up" and the more effort put into it, the more you reap the rewards. Working with someone often makes the time go faster as well and more enjoyable. Today, I ran my first long run with a partner. John, a friend I met at work, is running the marathon with me for the same charity. He's probably one of the nicest guys I know but I was a bit nervous to run with him because I feel like guys, in general, are just faster runners. I didn't want to hold him back and I also didn't want to injure myself by trying to keep up with him due to my redonculously large competitive nature. However, running with John was great. We talked...yes, talked!, for at least 10 miles of the run and I only used my ipod for about 4 miles of the run. For those of you who know me, that is unheard of. We did a loop that involved some big hills right around "it's starting to hurt time" and it was so nice to have him push me and say, "you can do it, almost there!" and get a high five at the end. It was enjoyable (until the pain, of course), social and we pushed ourselves hard...so hard that our 15 mile run turned into a 16.6 mile run (2:25:11). So high five to us and thank God we don't have to do it again til next weekend! :)

Afterwards, we both smelled, had leg cramps the size of Alaska and I had to get a ride home from him (and his awesome bulldog) because I was too sore to walk. However, accomplishing 16.6 miles, having his encouragement (and funny stories along the way) and knowing I could have probably run a little more (if I had to) all made this run, once again, remind me that I can accomplish this goal.

I'm heading out tonight for a chick flick with Bones and a beer with Ben for his birthday (sorry Barry, I deserve one, don't I?!) and I look forward to an easy day of yoga, a hot tub and coming up with plans on how I can kidnap John's dog tomorrow.

It hurts to type so, peace out folks.

Hello February!

It's February kids! You know what that means?! 11 more weeks til the big day. You know what else it means? No more messing around. Since I started training, I've been quite disciplined and stuck to my running schedule. February will be challenging for me as my mileage will continue to go up and I will continue to push my body further then I ever have. February includes my first run above 15 (the longest I've ever run) and my first 20 mile + run. I'm going to be quite frank, I'm freakn' scared. Not scared that I won't do it, because I know I will, but scared that it will be hard, so hard that it makes me doubt myself. I'm hoping and praying that self-doubt falls to the wayside.

Now, since I'm getting into the more serious running mileage, I also plan on getting more serious about other parts of my training. I'm listing them below, not because I won't remember them, but so that when you guys see me, you can hold me accountable and/or root me on. So, if you see me falling off the wagon and diving face first into a tin of frosting don't hesitate to kick me in the booty and say "26.2."

Here goes:
1) I will eat healthy 90% of the time. Most of the books I read say runners should rely on a lot of good carbs, veggies and protein and to lay off the fats. I have stomach issue even w/o all this running, so I plan on sticking to a better diet that is low in fat.
2) I will not drink alcohol during the weekdays and, starting April 1, 2010, I will not drink alcohol until the time I finish the marathon. After that, it's party time!
3) I will lose 10lbs by marathon day. Yes, this might seem easy since I'm running my ass off but, the pounds aren't dropping off like I thought they'd be. My pants fit way better and my belly size is decreasing but the less I weigh on marathon day, the faster I'll be. And by "fast," I mean alive and breathing.
4) I will run more hills, I will run more hills, I will run more hills.

I take pride in setting goals and accomplishing them, something I think I learned from my mom and dad who are both extremely hard workers. It feels good to be able to say, "I set my mind to this and did it." I have come to realize I will probably struggle through this marathon and my time might be less then ideal but as long as I put my "all" into the training and the 26.2 miles I run on April 19th, I will be happy and I will have finished and that's really all that should matter.

I hope ya'll have a fabulous week and a fantastic February!

Short (frozen) and sweet!

Just ran the same half marathon course that I ran for the B.A.A Half in October. Back then, I ran it in 2:11:13. Today, I ran it in 1:55:40! I have to say I feel pretty great about that. I pushed myself and it paid off.
{Did I mention it was 15 degrees out and I can't feel my legs? That might have to do something with my increased speed too but, for now, I'm gonna owe it all to my training. :) }

Looking forward to a night out with Bonner, the bday girl, and good friends tonight! Shout outs to Sprinkles, Alex, the Bonners, Katie & John, Brian B, Bill T, Josh and Melpo for their donations. Big hugs to Grambo for the highest donation of the month!

Sunshine, Happiness and Golf Carts

After a few "blah" weeks lately, I had the absolute pleasure of getting away to warm and sunny Florida with two of my favorite people (i.e. VWow and Sprinkles). Sprinkle's parents' have a house down by Orlando called "The Villages." Essentially it's a retirement community for those 55+ and, of course, those lucky of us to know the 55+. So, we packed our bags and headed into the sunshine. I was not at all sad about leaving the snow, work or the icy and somewhat painful runs I had endured the past few weeks.

Now, when I go on vacation, I usually have some sort of "plan" of what I'm going to do. The only plan on this trip included these words: sun, fun, cocktails, ice cream. I might not have gotten the ice cream (instead I got an insanely redonculous chocolate covered oreo cookie) but I sure did get the sun, fun and cocktails. We had a great time doing absolutely nothing but soaking up every ounce of sun we could get at the local pool (Hacienda) which was pretty much Heaven on earth. I mean, I was with 2 hot ladies of course but there was also a tiki bar, a man who sung Billy Joel songs and country, a hot tub, 75 degree pool water and, the best part, a DANCE party. Yes, it might have been a dance party that included senior citizens but it was still the booooomb. That day alone will make me smile for the next month. We also had lots of food that was bad for us, walked around the town square and saw more old people dancing and holding hands (I heart old people who are in love), enjoyed the 2 for 1 beverages at every restaurant in town, drove golf carts while singing songs, played cards, read books, and miiiight have been in bed every night by midnight. I'd say we did a good job of being "retired."

Another thing I usually do on vacation is bring workout clothes and then never use them. It's vacation, right?! Well, this time, I knew that wasn't an option and I was actually pretty okay with it. I did my long run Saturday morning and was pleased to see that I was not the only one up at 8am. Duh. These peeps go to bed at 7pm so ,of course, they're up early! So, I was pretty entertained on my run around the Villages b/c I saw people playing golf, a walking group (who all wore neon jackets and keds), a biking train who all waved to me while I ran by and I even came across some runners who looked in their upper 50's. Now I wasn't expecting to get much "inspiration' while out on my run in the Villages (that wasn't from the sun, at least) but, low and behold, I actually did. On one of my morning runs, I was passed (yes, passed) TWICE by a man who had to be at least 80 years old. I could tell he was a "real" runner because he ran like he meant it. He had all the gear on and a water belt and I think his shirt said something about a 10K. Eighty years old and still running. Hell yeah. This dude deserved a chest bump. If that wasn't inspiring enough, on my last run of the vacation, I went looking for some hills and found both those and another person to motivate me. I decided to run up and down this one steep hill several times and on my 2nd time down, I saw this woman who had to be at least 90 in her pink jumpsuit and bedazzled visor pushing her walker up this big hill. I thought she must live on top of the hill and felt kinda bad for her but as I ran down the hill she waved and said, "I used to be as fast as you but at least I'm still truckin!" After a few more times up and down this hill, I realized this lady was actually doing laps up and the down the hill as well. Did I mention she had a walker?!? Not only was she doing it but she was doing it with a smile. Bedazzled inspiration.

So, as I return to Boston, I am returning with a few more freckles, the urge to purchase a bedazzled visor, and the thoughts of all those "older folks" dancing, running, biking and pushing their walkers and smiling while doing it. No wonder active, social and happy people often live longer and stay "younger" then many of us. Thank you for reminding me to always "Keep Truckin."

Shout outs to Adele, Alison, Ryan and Sonia for donating. Shout outs to my coworker Jen and J-Money "The Circumstance" for giving the highest donations of the week and shout outs to Sprinkles, VWow and the "Village" people for bringing some sun into my life!

Run, slip, fall, repeat.

I had the worst distance run this past Saturday. I felt like an old woman. I tried to mix it up by going to the Fells and running the trails but the trails were full of snow and ice which was not good for my knees and also slowed me down significantly. I felt like my feet were cement and it was one of those runs where I was like "What? I have 10 more miles to run? " It's the first time I actually felt slightly worried about my ability to do  this and the first time this winter I've said, "I can't wait until Spring."

 I've had the whole long weekend to think about this run. Then, I came to the realization that this process of running a marathon really is 80% mental...just like everything else in life. If I feel defeated, I will be defeated. If I feel worn out, I will wear out. If I feel "ugh," I will be "ugh." I've had this mental struggle in my mind lately about other things besides running so when the running kinda sucked this Saturday, I thought, "Great, now even my running is a struggle?" After thinking about both my recent "life struggles" and my running struggles, I realize that they go hand in hand. There are good days and bad days in every aspect of life. The important thing is to learn from them and to keep running, right?  Just as I was thinking about this, Chris bought me 2 cool really books. One is called "The Runner's Book of Inspiration" by Kevin Nelson and another was called "The Non-Runner's Marathon Guide for Women" by Dawn Dias. Both offered just what I needed....inspiration, humor and perspective.  I will be adding some "thoughts" from these books as time goes by as well.

 

 I'm off to FL with Sprinkles and VWow at the end of this week. I hope this time away allows for a little body rest, a long run with good weather and beachy scenery and some time to regain my mental focus both in running and in life.

 

Shout outs to Judy and Tom Britt, Jackie Sackett, Amie, Amy Sponsler, Cathy Rogers, Vanessa and Berty for their donations this week. Only about $1,000 to go to make my marathon goal!

Man-calves

This week has been frustrating. I've had kind of a crappy personal/professional week and, to top it off, my trainer totally tore me a new one. Well, not really, but I took it that way. I see a trainer at my gym at least once a week for some core training and drills. He's great and I feel like he's super motivating even if he is only 21 years old and is constantly telling me he'd like to make sweet love to me (don't worry, he's just being a tool). He also calls me "The Beast" and "Quadzilla." I don't mind the nicknames b/c I realize I'm never gonna be long and lean and super skinny. So, being strong (I think), is a good thing. Anyway, so this week he took my measurements and proceeded to tell me I need to lose body fat and that my calves were bigger then his....like man-calves.  Seriously? For some reason, I thought I would hear better news then that after all the training I've been doing. Mancalves are never good news...unless you're a man.

I usually like to take "bad" weeks and try to learn something from them. From this week, I'm trying out the mantra "Don't sweat the small stuff" and trying to remind myself that it's okay to fail or to feel down and out...as long as I get back up. Every day is a new day and a new beginning.

I hope everyone has a great weekend. Shout outs to all those who have family in Haiti. Sending thoughts and prayers your way. And a shout out to MLK Jr for never losing hope or courage and for always having a dream.

Inspirational Story-Take 2

Like I said before, this blog isn't just about running. It's about inspiration.

This story is about generosity and support. I am very aware of how blessed I am to have the people in my life that I do. Most of my friends and family members have hearts of gold and are there for me when I need a shoulder to cry on, a good laugh or a word of encouragement. I have always been one to try to do things for myself and to not be a 'burden' on others when it came to my problems of if I was having a bad day. I was a kind of "work through it myself" kinda girl.  However, in the past few years, I have become more open to sharing my feelings, reaching out for help and telling the people I trust in my life when I'm hurting. This has become easier for me the past few years because of the extraordinary people I have in my life. I have been blessed to make new (well not so 'new' anymore) friends in grad school and to hold on to old friends who know me better then most. Because of these people I have gained the strength to really accept myself for who I am. All of them love me unconditionally even if I do annoy them when I'm in my "Patty Planner" mode or am in one of my moods. That is what friendship is all about. Knowing a person, the good and not-so-good in them, and accepting them and loving them whole heartily. This year a group of my friends came out to support me in my 1st half marathon (t-shirts and all). Besides actually finishing the race, I think that was the highlight of my experience. I felt loved, genuinely loved, and that is a tremendous feeling. I hope all of you reading this know that the feeling is mutual.

To end, I'd like to give a shout out to all of those who have donated to my Boston Marathon fundraising page. Some of you I have not seen in years and your generosity has floored me. Thank you so, so, so much. Big thanks to Ma and Pa Metz, Linda and Ty Shen and to my best guy, Christopher Shen for their over-the-top donations! xox

Double Digits

First double digit run today. Here are some other numbers of the day..

10 miles
1 pack of lemon lime goo (my new fav, thanks Vicky!)
1/2 a water bottle
89 minutes and 13 seconds
3 hills
2 sore knees (R-I-C-E)
16 more miles I'll have to run on 4/19/10

And one "non-runner" feeling pretty good. My fancy water bottle belt my dad gave me came in handy (even if I looked like a tool) and the cold, yet sunny, day let me appreciate the winter time in Boston, once again.

Hope everyone is having a fantastic weekend and a few more shout outs to those who donated this week! Thanks D-Brown, the Haddens, Jenny Dunne, Erica, Patrick, Meg, Dave Bonner and the Britts (Carolyn, Tom, Greggle and Ewood!) Special shout out to Vito for highest donation of the week! Love to you all. xo