Running together

When I was in high school my parents had many rules. One of them was "play a sport or get a job-you can't sit around and do nothing." So, I chose sports. I played basketball, volleyball and softball. I was not great at any of them. I was average at all of them, enjoyed the social aspect and was pretty competitive. I never got MVP at our sports banquets. Instead, I often got "Best Sportsmanship Award." I guess they forgot about all the of the times I was fouled out of our basketball games.

Anyway, my brother also chose sports. He played basketball and baseball but also did track and cross country. He was good at everything he participated in, but he was especially good at running. He used to win track meet after track meet, break records on the cross country team and it was not unlikely he won every event he ran in. He was in the newspapers, had shelves of awards and medals and often won MVP at the sports banquets. I used to watch my brother run and think, "God, I wish I could be that good at something." He was so good at running and he did it with such ease. What was even more awesome to me was that he was so passionate about it. He loved to run. He even did it on his "days off " because he loved it. I used to love to watch him run too. I used to wish I could run with him. I never asked though. I knew I would hold him back.

For those of you who know me, you also know the story of my brother. He has had his ups and downs in life and I have often been on the sidelines for those ups and downs. When he was up, I would cheer for him. When he was down, I would cheer for him too....just like at his track meets. In the past few years,  my cheering has gone flat . At one point,  I didn't know if I had any cheer left in me for my brother.  I know, it sounds awful. It felt awful too, probably for the both of us. Thankfully, this past year has been an increasing "up" for my brother and for our family. This past Christmas, my brother and I sat down and talked honestly with each other about the past, about the ups and downs and we started new and we started fresh. I apologized for, at times, not being in the "cheer section." He apologized for not asking for help when he needed it and not always being there for me when I needed a fan in my own cheering section. For the first time, in a long time, I felt good about our relationship as brother and sister. After this talk, my brother asked me if I wanted to run with him. I said yes. That run together was one of the best running moments I've ever had. Neither one of us held each other back. We ran together.

So, I dedicate my last long (looong) training run this Saturday to my big brother who has now been in recovery for one full year (happy anniversary to you!) and who was the one who made me 'in awe' of real runners. I will always run beside you. Together.